Chapter 2 - The Storm

The battle had been raging for at least 40 minutes. It started in the trees in front of the chapel on Douglass. Across George Street, past the parking deck, and to the big lawn across from Bartlett Hall.
***
"So…we meet at last Iron Dyke. I have to admit, your work is impressive."
"Captain Hetero. Yeah, if nothing else, I have to say I’m approve of your methods. You do deliver a good beating. But your short, brilliant career is about to come to an explosive finish. Your the embodiment of everything I hate. Everything I fight against. You just gotta go. ROCK ON DYKES! This one’s for you!"
"Yeah well, beyond the fact that you represent my strongest competition for winning bisexual chicks back to the right team, I don’t have anything against you either. But I can’t let you go around trying to prove that women are better than men. Playtime’s over little girl, daddy’s home."
***
I.D. started by trying to fight Cap in hand to hand. This didn’t go on for too long. Cap proved to be far superior to her at fighting hand to hand. She ran every martial arts program she had through her hand-to-hand attack plan that she had. Wu-Shu, Thai Kickboxing, Shotokan Karate; whatever she tried he was better at it than she was. For every punch she threw she took three to the head. The armor absorbed the blows to a degree, but she soon realized it’d be a quick loss for her if things went on this way. So she did what any self-respecting lesbian would do. She resorted to guns…Big guns.
"Iron Dyke Armor version 2, WAR DYKE!"
***
It was quiet at first in front of the old Chapel. Lesbians, gay men, and all manner of gay folk gathered early. They were a good distance from the action, but they were there in force. When I.D. floated down from the sky, the crowd went wild. Queens danced, Dykes high-fived. A good deal of the straight community of Rutgers showed too. There was bus after bus of straight folk arriving, crowding the streets, waiting for The Man. Soon enough he came, rode up on his Cycle and strode confidently up to I.D. The crowds fell silent. A cool breeze blew on an unseasonably warm afternoon. The sun streamed through the leaves. They stared intently at each other for an eternal few seconds. Then, Melissa noticed something…
***
Right forearm, small machine gun; Left forearm, grenade launcher; Right shoulder, SolarShock tm Laser; Left Shoulder, 35 mm explosive round rotating cannon, And in the middle of her chest, the Pink Triangle Plasma Blaster. "Oh shit", Cap thought, "so this is War Dyke. I was wondering when she was going to stop playing around and get serious." This is where Cap’s shield proves its worth. She took some random potshots at him with her guns, and he blocked most of them. He dodged, back flipped, and tried to evade the bigger stuff like the laser and grenade launcher. Cap decided the best way to avoid getting shot was to make her be over-aggressive. "Not too hard to do", he thought. He sprinted for George Street at superhuman speed, hopped the fence, and headed for the parking deck. War Dyke continued to fire at him, but hit nothing but ground. "Shit, why is he so fucking fast?" She flew over to the parking deck, searching but not finding Cap. She did however find a car owned by a non-Douglass student, which she fired a grenade into. "That’s a lot more effective than a parking ticket", she smiled to herself. "This is fun", she thought, "the hunt, the chase…" She let her mind wander as she flew to the top level of the deck. A few seconds later her scanners found Cap, running right at her. He dived off the roof smashing into her chest. About halfway down she recovered from his hit, grabbed him, spun and threw him off of her to the ground. Johnny hit the ground, rolled a couple of times, and sprang to his feet. He had to because almost before he hit the ground War Dyke started unload her guns at the spot where he would land. He took a few shots, but was still unhurt. "OK, OK", he thought, "time for new tactics. Need more cover."
He took off again, War Dyke close on his heels the whole time, and got to the field with the nice peaceful little duck pond. At least it was peaceful until a stray grenade blasted all of the poor duckies into pate. Eventually, he managed to get her to shoot at him while he was standing in front of a tree. She blew the trunk away, and just managed to evade the falling tree. "Here’s my opening." Cap closed the distance between them pretty fast and thought that the fight was soon to be over, when he received a little surprise. "Air Mines!" Cap sprinted straight into a little gray ball that appeared, hovering before him. "What the hell…" BOOM! The mine exploded in his face, sending him flying towards another one, which exploded him towards another one. This went on, pinballing him from mine to mine another 4 times. "Oww…tricky bitch! That hurt!" Melissa smiled beneath her mask. "What’s the matter? Men are such pussies, can’t stand a little pain. Well, let’s see how you handle a lot of pain. War Dyke Super Attack, BUTCH BLITZ!" Cap was not prepared for what happened next. All he could do was hide behind his shield and hope this assault ended before he did. I.D. opened up with all of her guns in a destructive chorus; the staccato machine guns, the base of the grenades, the loud riff of laser, culminating in what everybody came to see, the coup de grace.
"Hm…I think she’s almost done…the shots are coming less frequently…but I’m not finished yet…what’s she up to…" Then he got his answer in the form of a blinding pink light followed by intense heat. "Get ready to fry boy, PINK TRIANGLE BLASTEEEEERR!!!" The plasma stream was enormous. Fortunately, the crowd was far away from the fight, or hundreds would have died. The pink aura of power that emanated from her symbol of Lesbian Power could be seen as far away as Scotch Plains. When it was over, a large part of the field had been seriously scorched. And there was no sign of Captain Hetero. Not even his shield. "Hah, that did it. It was fun, but the outcome was inevitable." Unknown to most, Melissa had a flare for working a crowd. She slowly turned to the assembled masses, raised her fist and yelled "ROCK ON DYKES!" Her fans went apeshit, and the Hetero supporters fell silent. Was he really dead?
***
General Mann was watching all of this from a helicopter high overhead. Hm…stupid bitch thinks she’s won. I personally oversaw his creation…he doesn’t go down that easily. FR.A.T. team 1, stand by. When the fight’s really over, take down whoever is left standing…Hard.
Ironically enough, another person was at that moment giving the same order. "Amazons…if the Iron clad one cannot win this fight, we must destroy the menace Captain Hetero. With the help of the goddess Pia Messa, we will be victorious. As your Estro, I promise you that. And Estro Geena always keeps her word.’ (Don’t worry, I’ll translate all that later-John) Twenty amazon warriors armed to the teeth were hell bent on ripping Captain Hetero to shreds should he win the fight. Twenty FR.A.T. boys stood ready to pulverize Iron Dyke should she actually succeed in beating Cap Het. Ever have one of those days where it’s like you just can’t win no matter what you do?
***
Cap breathed hard in the tree he was hiding in. He had to push his body to its limits and use his Adrenaline Rush super move to get out of the way of the beam in time. He needed a minute to let his body recover. But he wasn’t done yet, not by a long shot. "Ok Dyke, you can have your fifteen minutes in the sun. But I know-something You don’t-know. I’m not dead yet…too bad for you."