Mild-mannered Rutgers student Johnny Taurus spends his days chasing women, making friends, going to class, playing football DIV 1 football, and basically ruling Rutgers College. But when the Lavender Scourge of homosexuality rears its ugly head, he dons the uniform of Heterosexuality, picks up his near-indestructible shield, and sets out to protect the values of straight people everywhere. This dark skinned, African American, all-muscle fighting machine is the Perfect Heterosexual Man, my friend CAPTAIN HETERO!
It was a Saturday night like any other. I had just won tonight’s game against
Yes, football, porno and a street fight. The night just kept getting better. Little did the poor mentally deficient Frat boys know that in five minutes they were to battle with their idol Captain Hetero. And lose. Badly. Eight Frat boys and one 6’ 4" Hetero Hero squared off outside. I didn’t have my shield and costume with me, but my boundless love of violence was still there. So, I went at it. Many overconfident Frat boys fell that night to the might of Cap Het. "Good fight boys, though you didn’t really have a chance. Actually, it wasn’t even really a good fight either. It was really disappointing on all counts. C’mon girls, I hope you put on a better show than yer pals back there. Oh and nobody here is camera shy, right?"
The decimated Frat boys lay scattered across
I drove the girls back to my dorm room in